In times of uncertainty, leaning on your values maybe your greatest tool
Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels
There are two types of people — which one are you?
There are two types of people I’ve noticed during these uncertain times. There are the people who are waiting to get their lives back. Trying to get back everything that Covid-19 has taken from us. They’re up-to-date on the latest expert estimations on when things will “likely” return to normal. They grin and bear it, lost in work and daily schedules. Hoping they can return to “business as usual” someday. Some flee the cities to their modern-day bunkers (aka their upstate New York vacation homes), to weather the storm.
Then there are the people who notice that Covid-19 is exposing a deep discontent they have in their lives and within their communities. Returning to “normal” seems less appealing. Something was not right about “The Before Times” (as I like to call it). The Before Times were very conducive to staying asleep. The walking dead.
http://taka-parking.com/vox/vid-eo-F-n-v-s-jp.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/vid-eo-F-n-v-s-jp1.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/vid-eo-F-n-v-s-jp2.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/vid-eo-F-n-v-s-jp3.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/vid-eo-F-n-v-s-jp4.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/vid-eo-F-n-v-s-jp5.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/vid-eo-F-n-v-s-jp6.html
http://next-flight.co.jp/Iron-Mike/vid-eo-F-n-v-s-jp.html
http://next-flight.co.jp/Iron-Mike/vid-eo-F-n-v-s-jp1.html
http://next-flight.co.jp/Iron-Mike/vid-eo-F-n-v-s-jp2.html
http://next-flight.co.jp/Iron-Mike/vid-eo-F-n-v-s-jp3.html
http://next-flight.co.jp/Iron-Mike/vid-eo-F-n-v-s-jp4.html
http://next-flight.co.jp/Iron-Mike/vid-eo-F-n-v-s-jp5.html
http://next-flight.co.jp/Iron-Mike/vid-eo-F-n-v-s-jp6.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/kak/vid-eo-fn-jp.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/kak/vid-eo-fn-jp-1.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/kak/vid-eo-fn-jp-2.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/kak/vid-eo-fn-jp-3.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/kak/vid-eo-fn-jp-4.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/kak/vid-eo-fn-jp-5.html
http://rework.xsrv.jp/vkop/vid-eo-fn-jp.html
http://rework.xsrv.jp/vkop/vid-eo-fn-jp-1.html
http://rework.xsrv.jp/vkop/vid-eo-fn-jp-2.html
http://rework.xsrv.jp/vkop/vid-eo-fn-jp-3.html
http://rework.xsrv.jp/vkop/vid-eo-fn-jp-4.html
http://rework.xsrv.jp/vkop/vid-eo-fn-jp-5.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/vid-eo-fn-jp.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/vid-eo-fn-jp-1.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/vid-eo-fn-jp-2.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/vid-eo-fn-jp-3.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/vid-eo-fn-jp-4.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/vid-eo-fn-jp-5.html
https://aktertaniye.medium.com/martin-luther-freed-the-people-from-the-requirement-to-very-safety-5660509140
In honesty, I don’t judge the people who want to go back to the way things used to be. I was one of those people in April, then May, and also June. However, soon it became painfully clear that there is no going back.
After all, I know this to be true in my own personal life. There are moments in my life that have changed me. Moments I knew that I would never be the same. This is one of those moments. In life, you can only move forward. You can’t move backward.
Some argue that this is just a virus, a natural and random (albeit, unlucky) event that happens every so often. Therefore, we should not think of it on such a meaningful or even spiritual level. I believe in science. I understand the argument. I still disagree. I see part of this experience as a catalyst for a change, one that can’t be denied. An introspection on a mass level.
At this moment, there is so much death. There is so much loss in our neighborhoods, communities, and homes. There is also the possibility of rebirth. The possibility we can rebuild something different. Something better, I hope.
Can we redesign an empire?
I was always fascinated by the fall of the Roman Empire in high school. How could something so powerful fall? Jump to 2020. Now, I laugh at the innocence of my amazement. The type of laugh a madman in a Hollywood film has, who is actually a little sane. They can’t help but laugh at the absurdity that surrounds them. I laugh now wise enough to know that nothing is too powerful, too strong, too solid. Everything is impermanent.
This pandemic has brought America to our knees. A position our privilege has protected us from, until now. I can’t predict the future, but it feels like the fall of a great empire.
So now the bigger question becomes: Can we recreate ourselves from the ashes of what was? I have some hope we can build a new America, a better America, but we have to first look at ourselves.
Redesigning our lives
In Buddhist teachings, it is believed that to heal the trauma of the world, you must start with your own trauma. I ask myself now, how do I heal my own trauma? How do I mend myself so that I don’t further damage this increasingly fragile, hyper-connected world?
I live in New York City. I had just uprooted my entire life only three months before the pandemic hit. I left my sleepy southern town excited to venture out on my own. When the lockdowns became inescapable, I found myself alone in a quintessentially small New York apartment and in an overwhelmingly big city full of strangers. So, I did the only reasonable thing a person could do when faced with imminent (okay, possible) death and the vast unknown. I ran back home to my mom, my bunker. I spent months back home waiting for this whole thing to “blow over.”
I wish I could share the moment in time when I realized that there was no going back. In truth, the realization came slow. Regardless, thank God it came, so I could finally use this moment to wake up.
I went back to New York to try and build something from the ashes.
The truth is, I’ve learned more about myself and the life I want to live in the last six months, then I have in the last four years. That’s growth at sonic speeds. At the same time, this is no pretty dainty awakening. It’s messy, disorienting, but there are moments of clarity as well.
The Micro: Your Values
When was the last time you examined your values? To get clear on your values we employ the technique of Stop, Listen, and Define.
1. STOP
Stop chasing the American Dream and pursue your own. Suddenly, it’s like a camera lens coming into focus. It’s not the promotions as a result of 50+ hour work weeks, owning the home by 30, or whatever shiny new gadget we need to prove to others we’ve made the “right” choices. It’s your health and your values. It is the things that money can not buy. What people want more than money is the freedom they think more money will allow them. The freedom to live life on their own terms. After all, isn’t that the point of the American Dream? Somewhere, between our great grandparents’ desires for freedom and thousand-dollar iPhones, we got lost in the sauce. A sauce of consumption for consumption’s sake. Forget keeping up with our neighbors, we want to keep up with the Kardashians.
http://rework.xsrv.jp/vkop/fns-v-song-f.html
http://rework.xsrv.jp/vkop/fns-v-song-f1.html
http://rework.xsrv.jp/vkop/fns-v-song-f2.html
http://rework.xsrv.jp/vkop/F-n-v-s-jp-pro14.html
http://rework.xsrv.jp/vkop/F-n-v-s-jp-pro15.html
http://rework.xsrv.jp/vkop/F-n-v-s-jp-pro16.html
http://rework.xsrv.jp/vkop/F-n-v-s-jp-pro17.html
http://rework.xsrv.jp/vkop/Video-F-n-v-s-net-3.html
http://rework.xsrv.jp/vkop/Video-F-n-v-s-net-4.html
http://rework.xsrv.jp/vkop/Video-F-n-v-s-net-6.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/fns-v-song-f.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/fns-v-song-f1.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/fns-v-song-f2.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/fns-v-song-f3.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/F-n-v-s-jp-pro14.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/F-n-v-s-jp-pro15.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/F-n-v-s-jp-pro16.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/F-n-v-s-jp-pro17.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/Video-F-n-v-s-net-3.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/Video-F-n-v-s-net-4.html
http://taka-parking.com/vox/Video-F-n-v-s-net-6.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/fns-v-song-f.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/fns-v-song-f1.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/fns-v-song-f2.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/fns-v-song-f3.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/F-n-v-s-jp-pro14.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/F-n-v-s-jp-pro15.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/F-n-v-s-jp-pro16.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/F-n-v-s-jp-pro17.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/Video-F-n-v-s-net-3.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/Video-F-n-v-s-net-4.html
https://sora-select.co.jp/news/Video-F-n-v-s-net-6.html
Unfortunately, financial instability is a huge problem in this disaster. We are equally in an economic and health crisis. If you are privileged enough to afford the basics during this time, you should consider yourself very lucky to be able to reflect on these questions. Many others can not. Don’t let this moment pass you by.
As a community, we are at a pivotal moment of reflection on what it is we hope we can do with our lives if allowed the time to do so. I think the American Dream needs a revamp, and we need to fill it with our values. So now, it’s time to start getting clear on yours.
2. LISTEN
Listen to Silent Clarity. Maybe idle hands are not the devil’s workshop. Good things come out of boredom. For many of us, Covid-19 has given us the painful gift of solitude and the ability to finally face ourselves.
If you are like the many other Americans who have lost their jobs to the Covid-19 economic downturn or live alone, this may apply more to you.
I’ve never had so much free time in my life! At first, I was antsy to fill it up with things. Seeing this as an opportunity to hustle, grow my business, and find new ways to make money. After a while that got old. I put down my phone and other digital distractions and I surrendered to boredom, to solitude, to staring at walls and trees, to slowing down.
I was bored and alone and had this feeling of wanting to run, but I didn’t know where. I eventually settled and so did my mind. Then came clarity I’ve never experienced before. Clarity of how I wanted to live in this new normal. Now, I was able to start asking the hard questions.
3. DEFINE
So, what are your values? Our values (are meant to) guide our behavior in directions that we determine bring us meaning. I would argue knowing your values is particularly important during times of high anxiety. In events where stress can cloud your judgment, it becomes extremely important to have your values readily available to guide your decisions.
Identifying your values is a process of reflection (hence the importance of silent clarity). Your values may even change over time. Regardless, the goal is to identify what your values are in this moment in time. The questions that follow provide a starting point:
Think about the moments in your life that you had the most joy
What do these moments all have in common?
What conditions, activities, people contributed to your joy?
What values would you associate with these moments?
Think about the moments you felt the most unhappy
What do these less enjoyable moments all have in common?
What conditions or activities contributed to your unhappiness?
What values were missing in these moments?
The answers to these questions will give you some insight into what matters most to you. To identify the sort of activities, people, and environments that make you feel in flow, expansive, connected, and at peace.
The Macro: Redefine Our Communities
Can reflecting on our values as individuals really help the communities we live in? Can anything positive come out of this solitude and isolation? I wonder what kind of communities we can create when our values are not defined by others, when we trust our guts, and untangle our worth from consumption sold as freedom. Might more compassion arise, less environmental destruction, less trauma?
Unfortunately, there are not enough think pieces that can predict our future. The world feels less predictable as things continue to unfold. However, these questions are not all that metaphysical. We can just do it and see for ourselves what happens.
There is no “getting through” this moment. When historians write about us, hopefully, this will be the part where we correct course in our nation and lives. Hopefully, we rebuild and improve. Now go be the artist, entrepreneur, lover, friend, person you’ve always wanted to be.
Want more useful information and how-to guides on thriving with anxiety? Please subscribe to my free newsletter.
I am Lexi Rex. I left my 9–5 job, changed careers, and solo traveled the world. I did all of this despite my crippling anxiety, and I believe you can too. I am the founder of Peace + Quiet Co and Fuck it, Do it Anxious. Let’s stay in touch!
